Weight Loss Surgery - People Noticing?

I'm not sure how to take this...

If you followed previous posts, you know that my story for this year basically goes like this...

I got serious about the surgery after insurance decided to okay the surgery late last year. In January, I started losing weight in order to get the weight loss surgery (yeah..ironic...you have to lose weight to have weight loss surgery).

In April I had the surgery.

It's now the end of May.

I've lost approximately 120 pounds so far, about 40 of which (rounding; I posted a day or two ago more solid numbers but these are off the top of my head) have been since my surgery. That leaves 80 pounds pre-surgery.

For the past two days I've had a number of people suddenly comment on my weight loss. "How much have you lost?" "You've changed so much!" I had one person asking someone just how much was liposuctioned out of me (in case you're wondering, my understanding is that you'd probably die if they tried liposuctioning even 40 pounds out of you, but I haven't asked my doctor about it).

It's nice that people notice...for a long time I began to wonder if I looked any different. Living with this means that you kind of get used to just not fitting into seats and not being the first pick to the prom. But I had to wonder...where were these people during the first 80 pounds? I had one person ask me about my weight loss before the surgery. One. Eighty pounds.

Is there a social rule where you just don't comment on people's weight? I mean it's fairly obvious people talk about the fatty waddling down the hall to people other than the person they consider a fatty. It's a classic stereotype. A societal joke. It's socially acceptable to poke fun at the expense of the obese.

But while I was trying to lose weight before getting 80 staples in my front, where were the comments about people noticing anything then?

I don't know how to react. Right now I just say thank you, but really...how do I reply to it? Part of me thinks that they may not know the backstory...part thinks that they've heard the rumors of surgery. Are they playing dumb? Or do they really not know? Do they just think it's a socially acceptable thing to ask about on this particular day? All of these thoughts are racing through my head when they say something and I haven't a clue what to reply with that won't sound suspicious, trite, or unappreciative.

Then there's another thought that creeps into my head and makes me just...agitated. There are several warnings out there about people losing weight and taking delight in how people react more positively to them. Biases against the obese are put aside; you're one of "them" now, the normals. They don't necessarily stare at you as you walk down the sidewalk. They don't question how Tubbo can carry the heaped-up plate at the buffet anymore because they don't know you're Tubbo from several months ago. They don't assume you're lazy or slow-witted because you're not wearing the 6x t-shirts anymore. This ticks me off.

So are people being nice because I'm not Tubbo anymore? How exactly has their perception of me changed despite, to my knowledge, I'm still...me? I'm the same me that wanted to fit in with you before. The same me that wanted to go to the prom but didn't have a date, the same me that wanted to be the one to catch the eye of some cute girl walking along instead of the other way around.

These subtle rejections in life have helped shape the person I later became. I saw people's inner nature and behavior in ways that normals never did because they didn't experience these things; if you weren't the hot cheerleader, could you ever truly understand what it's like to have most people wrapped around your pinky, getting favors without even trying or conciously putting forward effort to get them? Don't tell me it's not the case; there are studies showing how people who are attractive "tend" to be more successful in life. Even Wikipedia has an article dealing with the subject!

Since I have a terrible time understanding other people's motives and behaviors I also have a terrible time knowing what response people are looking for when they suddenly tell me how great I look now compared to...I don't even know when they last noticed me.

This is something else to deal with, I suppose. I perpetually ask myself what's wrong with me that no one noticed until one hundred twenty pounds later that I'm losing weight. I question their sincerity. I don't know how to reply. And I'm angry, for lack of a better word, at the subtle shift in attitudes that go along with how a person is perceived as they lose weight despite the fact that I'm fully aware I have my own judgements passed on people for a wide variety of behaviors and appearances. I'm aware of it and try to be empathetic with that self-awareness as a reference from which to relate to them, but I can't deny I still feel stirrings of irritation at them for my having to be on the receiving end of the stick.

Maybe these are thoughts other patients don't normally dwell on. If you have experienced this and have some information or advice, feel free to comment...