More Notes on the Fat Acceptance Movement

I've started kind of following along with The Fatshionista blog and Living At 400 lbs blog lately. I guess the Fat Acceptance movement kind of interests me since obviously I'm overweight.

I'll start off by saying that if you're happy with the way you are, more power to you. If you're 300+ pounds and say you're happy and fit and you feel good about yourself, then really it's not my business to argue with you. It's great that you feel good about yourself.

Nothing I'm saying here is to attack someone personally. My thoughts are focused on the group, the Movement, as a whole.

When I was overweight I accepted my obesity too. I accepted it because change is hard. I liked food. I liked not riding this @#$ bike ten miles a day. I liked not sweating on purpose (I sweat all the time in Summer...isn't breathing supposed to be an exercise?). I saw joggers running on the sidewalk and they never looked happy. They looked like someone was chasing them to give them a proctology exam. Why would I want to cut back on food (I'm hungry, @#$!!), waste my time doing something that normal people looked thoroughly unhappy doing, and ruin my already low supply of clothes with sweat and holes from having to exercise?

So I guess I was part of the fat acceptance movement. Accept me as I am or get out of my way. It helped that I was an introvert and didn't really like people or social situations too.

Gradually I gained high blood pressure. And high cholesterol. Then the diabetes...I was on Metformin and later coupled it with Byetta. I noticed myself hating having those usual fat-thoughts...you know, will this bench hold me? Will this seatbelt reach? On a plane flight I needed an extender for the belt. It sucked. But it was who I am. I just wrote it off as another reason to hate getting up in the morning.

My new doctor at the time...I'll call her Dr. K...seemed like she was ready to just give up on me. Another patient who doesn't give a damn about dying young, ignoring her medical advice...the usual. And she reminded me that I would most likely not live to see my young son graduate or get married or suffer the wonders of marriage and children himself.

*sigh*

She was right.

She referred me to a specialist who took a glance...literally...at my list of comorbids (blood pressure, apnea, etc.) and then tossed his notebook on the desk and said, "Weight loss surgery. You need it. Anything else?"

Dude. He sounded pretty sure.

He gave me the referral and out of his office I went. I'm pretty sure he was used to patients ignoring him...at least that's the feeling I got. Another idiot wasting his time; state (to him) the obvious and move on to the next in line.

I hate it when they do that. I'm not your average idiot and hate being lumped in with them. I'm my own special brand of idiot.

Anyway that's when I started in earnest trying to get the surgery and lose weight. That's also some background on my perspective on weight loss.

So when people in the Movement say they're healthy and all, it's kind of interesting to me.

I've read them saying that doctors are surprised they don't have the comorbidities that overweight people are supposed to have. "My cholesterol and blood pressure are normal!" I used to say that. Then I developed them.

I've read them saying that they eat salads and relatively healthy foods and they're still near whatever weight. I ate salads sometimes. Have you read the labels on dressing? Once you put a decent amount of dressing on a salad so you're not eating something that tastes like yard clippings you end up with a pretty high calorie count, one that easily rivals anything you get at the menu at Olive Garden or (I assume, since those jackholes won't publish calorie information) Applebees.

I'm very interested in whether people in the Movement have honestly done any tracking of calorie counts. It's not hard to do if you're somewhat organized. I was very anal retentive about it when I ended up having to track numbers but I'm even happy hearing ballpark figures. I was shocked to learn that I was probably in the neighborhood of three to four thousand calories a day...I was supposed to be, for a sedentary person, sixteen hundred to eighteen hundred, if I recall correctly.

And anyone in the Movement who claims to not overeat all that much and put in exercise by walking stairs, etc...I can't help but think they're full of it. Weight isn't magical. You put it on by taking in more calories than expending. It's not just a genetic thing that you're fat. You may be predisposed to it, but it still is getting the fuel somewhere to store it...any time I read these claims I wonder if they think they're getting fat from their feet drawing nutrients from the soil or air.

One thing has been consistent in my trials and tribulations. I eat less, I lost weight. I eat more, I gain. The surgery itself doesn't do much more than try forcing you, for a short time, to eat less and feel better with less food...eventually that effect wears off. Somewhat. From what I can find, if you don't stretch the pouch you should still feel satisfied with smaller meals. Can you short-circuit that? Yeah. You can sabotage it. But you'd be an idiot to try to do it.

In the end it's a tool for learning new habits. I could have tried eating this small amount of food without the surgery. I'd have been more miserable for it though, and my stretched stomach would constantly nag me for more until my intake kept creeping higher. I know it would have. Well, I'm pretty sure from past efforts that's what would happen.

So those are my curiosities for the Fat Acceptance Movement. I have been toying with the idea of trying to email the some of the "fat-o-sphere" bloggers and get their perspectives on my questions. I'd be really interested in the answers...any others ever read these blogs and consider themselves part of the Movement? Have you ever tracked calories for your intake before and if so what was it?