Went on a Vacation

I went on a trip that lasted roughly ten days. I didn't really take any meals with me, I decided to try "roughing" it and just being kind of careful of what I ate.

The trip consisted of one 11 hour day in the car, then a 6 hour day in the car to reach the destination. We ate out a lot. Once in awhile some fast food...McDonald's for breakfast meant a McMuffin, for example, or we had the hotel breakfast buffets to save some cash. Other times we ate out at places like the Rain Forest Cafe or Bubba Gump's.

I knew I was eating more than I should, but I tried making sure I never ate until I felt uncomfortable. Most of the time I began to wonder if the pouch was stretched out; I'd eat the mushroom burger (the meat wasn't meat, from what I could tell) at a restaurant, and I wasn't hurting or uncomfortable at all.

We walked a lot. We walked a lot. One day was spent in Chicago, and I swear I don't remember walking so much in my life in one day. We walked the zoo, we walked around parts of town, we walked 10 blocks to the Navy Pier and 10 blocks back in stifling humidity. And I loved it.

The walk back from the pier, after the fireworks, my 5 year old son was complaining about the distance. He wanted to get to the hotel to see if he and his sister could go swimming, and we didn't know when the pool would close; we'd be getting there rather late. I knew we needed to step it up, but as my wife put it, "Daddy, your legs are longer...every step you take is two for him."

So I stopped and said, "I'm already stinky and sweaty, but what the hell...," and picked him up and placed him on my shoulders. "C'mon dude...we're going to get to the hotel!"

He leaned down and said, "You're my favorite Daddy!"

And you know what? We got back to the hotel in time for him to have a good swim.

I've never seen so many people walking everywhere. We saw runners everywhere we went in Chicago. We walked a lot at our destination, inside a giant mall, but that was more like meandering while shopping than actually walking in a city. I walked until my feet throbbed. I walked until my fingers swelled. I had sweat glistening on my arms in less than half an hour from 80+ degree heat and humidity high enough to swim through the air, and I didn't care. I stank. You stank. Everyone was sweaty and hot. I didn't care!

It was fun. But I was certain from the food that I had gained 10 pounds.

When I got home...I only gained 2.

Nice.

Weight Loss and Exercise

I saw this story and thought that the author's conclusions rather echoed the conclusion I've drawn after researching exercise and caloric intake after my surgery. As a matter of fact, I posted a comment to the Weighty Matters blog about it!

I probably had said it before, but basically, exercise simply isn't a great way to maintain weight loss. It's good for you and does great things for the body but for weight maintenance, it simply isn't a panacea.

First, people tend to reward themselves for working out. "I was good!" they say. "I exercised, sweated a lot, I can afford this donut..." or extra bit of pie or extra slice of pizza, whatever you want to stick in there as a treat. I'm sure there are plenty of people who go to the gym and not indulge, but there are plenty of average people who do.

Second, have you looked realistically at the amount of calories you burn versus what's in a cheeseburger? Walking for a couple hours at a decent pace will burn out a plain cheeseburger of 300 calories. If you wanted to work off the average American's meal, you'd be in the gym for four or five hours doing moderate work. That's a LOT of exercising, a lot of time, so if you don't get exercise in as part of your job (as in you're a professional weight lifter or aerobics instructor of something of that caliber), good luck with your exercise routine making a huge dent in your weight.

Third, I don't know about you, but I'm a creature of routine. Knock me out of my routine, and I will fall right off the wagon. I'm terrible about this. I like biking, but if I can't go out (like when it's snowing out, or raining, etc.) I can't do it on a regular basis, and that is exercise I can't do on a regular basis. Walking? When I can, but it's still not something I routinely fit in. Even going to the gym got to be a hassle as I was annoyed by some of the other people there.

Overall I've found, from my reading, my research, and experiences, that the best way to control weight is to play with your caloric intake. You don't need to work off calories that you don't eat in the first place.

For exercise, I do try to walk more; I don't mind parking a little farther away in the parking lot. I don't mind taking the stairs. I don't mind having to walk around a building, or walking to a destination when it won't take too long. But I don't do exercise to rely on weight maintenance anymore, and anyone pushing it as a weight-control item instead of just being beneficial for your health (your bones, you heart, etc.) is fooling you.

Day By Day

It's been awhile again since I had blogged. The reason is simple; there isn't much to report on.

Bariatric surgery is something that takes intense retraining and relearning and introduces new coping challenges for a period of time; once you have met (or coped) with those challenges, life returns to some semblance of a new version of "normal" and you move on, with changes and checkups periodically interrupting your routine.

After a year post-surgery, what is there to talk about? I could complain about not being able to enjoy cakes or brownies or other fun foods that I used to enjoy; my son's birthday recently slid by and while family were stuffing their faces with heaping helpings of yummy-frosted cake I was eating...I think an apple or some mini-pretzels and nuts. I don't remember.

I could complain about missing the days where I could down large portions of food with nary a bit of side effect. I see shows like Man Vs. Food on the Teletubes and think to myself, "That challenge would have been nothing for me a few years ago..."

Now I see that show and wonder how he doesn't gain more weight while filming the programs.

Oh, there's always something to complain about. Complaining isn't a challenge. The challenge is moving on.

My most recent checkup at the doctor had them concerned because some of the weight had creeped up. I assured them that I just saw the surgeon and there were changes being made to my diet; I routinely monitor it (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I record my weight in the morning), and I'm trying to make changes to trim out a few calories.

My biggest dietary challenge lately has been peanut butter. I love the stuff. And I eat way too much of it. I usually eat it with apples or even broccoli (I know it's strange, but it works for me.) I suppose a secondary challenge has been cashews; they're high calorie but good. Very good.

I resolved to trim back some calories here and there and see what the effect would be. Basically I'm aiming to change my routine enough to get into newer, better habits through small changes. First I trimmed back cheese in my wraps. I used to have a slice of white cheese (60 calories) with some shredded cheddar. Then I cut out the shreds and had 2 slices of the white cheese, so calories were easier to control. Now I cut back the slices to just one in two out of the three meals, for a savings of 120 calories a day or 840 a week, which can add up over time.

Then I swore off cashews during the week. Saturdays and Sundays I have some, but otherwise, no cashews. This saves on calories and the wallet.

Now I've reduced my peanut butter intake. Not a huge amount, but it's reduced. I'm having more raw apples instead of apples with some PB on them.

Basically I'm trying to trim some calories here and there and keep busy with other tasks rather than focusing on eating. When I stress, I eat. When I get anxious or angry, I want to eat. When I get annoyed or want to focus on something other than something that is driving me batty, eating keeps me from saying something that will no doubt do little but make other people irritated or angry. Even if I'm bored, I want to eat. And of course there's my regular routine times to eat, when I'm used to having a meal and Mr. Tummy starts getting irritated if it's not refilled at the proper time (I think I liked Mr. Tummy better when the nerves were healing post-operation).

I'm working on trying to stay busy, as I tend to not want to eat when I'm occupied with something I enjoy doing. For the past couple of weeks I was working on a video contest entry which took precedent over working on my manuscript for the novel. Once that's all submitted I'll be working on the manuscript once again (I'm actually pretty far into my pass on editing, and my wife is still looking at the previous section I gave her. By the time she's done with that I'll have something like 150 pages ready for her to go through again.) With summer approaching I'm going to have the occasional weed-whacking chores or maybe even excursions into the park for some nature walks with my son (or family, if they're game to join. I've learned through my readings for the surgery and watching my extended family age that the more activity you get into, the better off you are with preventing joint issues later on.)

I'm still out here. I'm still doing some posting on my tech blog and writing blog. I'm still trying to lose weight, and cope with my personal issues that helped contribute to my weight issues in the first place. And I'm still trying to write a novel that may or may not sell.

Still taking it all day by day.

Hypno-Bariatric Surgery

Supposedly there's a new trend going around.

Hypnotic bariatric surgery.

Well, they call it incision-free bariatric surgery. Basically it's hypnosis where they walk you through the surgical room, complete with the wonderful smells and horrible gown, as if you're going to have surgery. Only instead of getting cut open, you get a hypnotic treatment.

The price tag is significantly cheaper than the surgery...by a long shot...somewhere in the neighborhood of a thousand to two thousand dollars.

Me, I'm not a big believer in hypnosis. I think it's a lot of touchy feely theatrics to convince yourself that you have incentive to lose weight this time unlike all the other times you've failed to lose weight and keep it off. Well, the theatrics and the much lighter wallet.

Has it really come to this? Paying thousands of bucks to take a tour of a surgical room and have a nice nap while someone whispers into your ear that you shouldn't eat so much?

Am I missing something here? Has there been any empirical evidence that this (or any hypnosis, really) works? Or is it a matter of self-delusion and placebo effect?

One Year Followup

Today was my day to visit my surgeon/doctor in the bariatric department.

As I had already posted, April 7th was my one-year anniversary for the surgery. Now I periodically go in for followups.

So how I'd do? Well, he didn't give me huge kudos, but he didn't tell me how I screwed up either. He looked at some vitals and change in medications since last time, asked a couple questions (Pains? Digestive issues? Etc.,) and then said that it looked like I had plateaued. He asked about my eating habits, and my wife made sure I mentioned my snack of fruit/vegetables with peanut butter. To paraphrase:

"Okay," he said. "There's no problem with peanut butter. Or vegetables. But if you're going to break the plateau, you need to be careful about how much you eat. Patients sometimes learn to graze, and you can easily take in 3,000 calories a day just eating a little bit the entire day." Which, of course, will stymie the whole losing weight thing.

He suggested that something has to go. The snack, or a meal, but something had to be cut out. If I liked the snack, I could make it a meal.

Okay...

I said it was hard to not know what number I should be aiming for with my weight, since I've been stuck in the 270 to 275 range for the past couple months. He said, "Hang on..." and left the room, coming back a few moments later and saying, "230."

"230?"

"Three months out of surgery you should weigh 230. If you that number in two more years, you hit a home run."

I can do that. I'm sure of it. Two years to lose fifty pounds?

What I think I can do first is tweak my meal preps to trim excess calories there first. tweak here, tweak there. Trim calories. Trim some more. See what gradual changes add up to.

So now I'm super stoked about trying to lose weight until I hit my "target weight", not that I have one. The hard part will be adding in several small changes to tweak my caloric intake, then integrating them into a new habit, since it takes something like 21 days of consistently following a pattern to establish a new habit.

But the big thing to keep my eye on is that I now have a solid number, and a definite deadline by which to hit it!

The rest of the day was celebration. I had taken the day as a sick day, and my wife took the day to accompany me (I was going to the doctor and their lab for blood analysis and I didn't know how long it would take, so I took the day as a sick day. I was at the doctor. It counts.) We hit the Sam's Club, we hit the comic shop, the book store, and a few other errands. My wife even celebrated by giving me a couple of wonderful cards congratulating me on the progress I've made and giving me a $50 gift card to Barnes and Noble! I was really surprised by that. I couldn't even spend it when we stopped there because I really wanted to find something that just screamed, "IF YOU LEAVE WITHOUT BUYING ME YOUR PANTS WILL EXPLODE." Nothing screamed that to me. I'm saving it for a special occasion instead.

So that was my day. The doctor didn't yell at me, the lecture was set to minimum. I have to tune my eating habits a bit more. And I need to lose about fifty pounds. Not too shabby, all things considered!

Happy Anniversary to Me, Revisited

Yesterday was my anniversary of the operation. I was tired and said I'd post more about feelings on the whole operation journey today.

Perhaps weary is a better word instead of tired. I think there's a distinction between the terms.

So how does it feel to go from around 450 pounds to 270?

I don't know if I could ever put it into words that would properly convey what it's like for me. I've had to change so many habits and views in order to adapt to my weight changes and dietary restrictions that it's a very difficult thing to adequately put into terms that normals would understand.

The absolute most interesting thing in the surgery that I experienced only lasted a few weeks. Right after the surgery, as the stomach and intestine were healing, I had no hunger. Not just "not hungry", but my head was totally divorced from the feeling of wanting to eat.

I could look at the most sensational cakes, most mouth watering pizza, the most alluring tray of peanut butter and chocolate eggs and most aromatic array of deli delights, and fully experience all of the senses aside from taste in order to be drawn to these items, but I had absolutely no desire to eat them. Rather, I wanted to smell them. And I could smell them. I could pick out individual ingredients in mixtures of foods from smell, rather than just having the glut of a lump "food" hit my nose. I was surviving on a liquid diet of jello or some rather crappy broth and I didn't mind it one bit.

It was the most unusual sensation I ever had.

Of course as things healed up, my old hunger returned, my habit eating, all of that started to slowly creep back in. But for the first month of that recovery I had truly experienced how driven we are as a sentient being to the desires of chemical reactions in our heads and nerve triggers in the stomach and digestive system. If we could find a way to regain that sensation using just some miracle pill...wow.

I don't know if this is what it's like for normals; to see something that you absolutely love to eat, your favorite food, and have no desire whatsoever to taste it. To see it as an abstract thing that's just there instead of as a thing to be consumed.

I can't get clothes that fit. I guess I can, but they feel alien. I like my baggier clothes. I suppose part of me fears what would happen if I spent money on stuff that's supposed to be "my size." I guess it makes me look a little strange sometimes, with pants that flap in the breeze around my ankles. I sometimes wear socks covered in diabetic socks for additional cushioning in my shoes when the weather allows it. I still prefer going to the Salvation Army to look for pants that may fit me, and when I get shirts or items that my wife says are the "proper" fit, they feel too tight and constrictive, and I frequently worry that the seams are going to rip apart if I move the wrong way.

One change that has persisted involves how I view food and drink. I can't have anything that is primarily sugar or I risk getting very ill...I've pushed that boundary, barely, before, and it's not pleasant. I primarily wanted to see if the bariatric surgery had actually changed the way my stomach worked, and it did. I was told that I absorb sugars faster than before so I have to limit my sugar intake, and consequently most of my meals contain very little sugar and additives. Fortunately my own quirky nature means I don't mind having a repetitive diet while most people would balk at the notion of eating similar foodstuffs every day. Most bariatric patients have to carefully adapt to a "normal" diet, sans sugary stuff or carbonated stuff, in far smaller quantities. I just sort of adopted a few select items that I like and have those on a regular basis.

After the surgery I had to cut out the sweets, the carbonation, and in many cases the pre-packaged. I had to eat what health nuts always said was "healthier" for me, in portions we are supposed to eat but rarely do.

I also read about diets and the food industry. I started reading a lot. And it didn't paint a pretty picture.

The more I found out about what goes into fast food and prepackaged food, the less I really missed it. I didn't stop having the occasional hunger pang for it once in awhile, but I also know that it's not all that great for me if I did have it. You know, the zebra cakes, the cosmic brownies, the chain restaurant pizza, the huge portions of Mexican fare at Chevy's...mmm...fried artery clogging goodness! Unless you read the books that discuss what happens when you eat high fructose corn syrup or the burgers at various fast food joints doused in fats, artificial additives and sodium.

I'm still overweight. Probably still classified as obese. But I'm eating "healthier" than I ever have before.

I still see myself as the fat guy. I still avoid sitting in anything that doesn't look like it could support the weight of an F-150. I'll stand around sooner than sit on furniture risks a sudden snap or crack followed by the fat guy rolling on the ground like an abandoned turtle.

There are a few moments where I think I'm doing something that a year ago I wouldn't be doing. I remember walking the mall and feeling just plain wiped out afterwards; today, not so much. I am actually asking others to do more walking or moving around and they're griping that they don't want to.

I also tend to be a little more judgemental of people who indulge in the laziness that I use to wallow in. People who pull into a Quik-E-Mart and park as close to the door as possible, sometimes in spots that aren't even parking spots, so they don't have to cross any farther than they absolutely must to get to the doors. I wonder how many people are riding in those motorized carts at Wal-Mart because they couldn't be bothered to have listened to their doctor when they were told they needed to cut back on their food and lose weight. I see people eating the entire portion they're handed at restaurants and wonder if there are any ethical restaurant owners willing to feel even the slightest bit of remorse for their contribution to the obesity epidemic in America.

I am curious about people that are nearly too overweight to walk on their own power, or are in scooter carts, or have clear difficulty moving and yet are carrying pre-packaged fried fats or are indulging in a tray of fast food easily hitting a thousand calories in one meal. That was me...I could easily polish half a large pizza, if not the whole pizza, if I wanted to in one sitting. Although now if I ate two slices I'd probably regurgitate it or, not achieving that, lay in a puddle of pain for an hour or two as it slowly slithers through what's left of my stomach. Horrible agonizing pain. I guess I'm curious in that I'm fascinated with those people having been me at one point, so now I'm seeing myself through a slightly different set of eyes.

There's also the skin. I avoid seeing myself in the mirror as much as possible because I look horrible with the free-hanging skin. Large flaps hang under my arms, and my abdomen looks like it's melting in slow motion. If I move too quickly the flesh flops around and risks giving me a concussion. Consequently I keep a shirt on as much as possible, and usually try to wear shirts with sleeves long enough to contain my upper arms under fabric rather than leaving them free to slap around. The skin, along with the long thick scar in my midsection, are macabre reminders of my lifetime transgressions involving food and gluttony.

Bright spot: sometimes I can feel muscle in my legs now.

I've lost some weight. I'm pretty sure I should lose more. I've been fortunate in that side effects have been minimal; sometimes, yeah, I have discomfort after meals. It's a new signal to say, "Hey, Jackass, stop eating!" It doesn't happen often and it's minimal, lasting all of five to ten minutes. And it is less pain and more discomfort, and as long as it's just discomfort I guess I'm doing okay.

I'm still unsure of myself at times. I'm still having issues with my own image, and I am deathly afraid of regaining the weight. I've failed to lose weight too many times to think that this is a permanent fix.

I'll know more after my one-year followup next week...

Happy Anniversary to Me!

One year ago I was waking up in my hospital bed with a giant incision held together with giant staples.

I woke up in the morning one year ago in a hotel room, suffering from the after affects of a laxative meant to clear out my digestive system after a wonderful liquid diet regimen. Then I rolled into the hospital around five, was pushed into the operating room around eight. Many hours later I was waking up in recovery and forgetting how to breath.

I stayed up most of the night just bleeding. Bleeding and bleeding. Not much fun. But I did learn that the food network kept replaying the same few cake-backing episodes, which was good because I'd watch five minutes, doze off, and wake up an hour later right around the time the episode was repeated right near the point where I dozed off. That was pretty surreal after it happens four or five times.

When I finally decided to get serious about pre-op dieting, I weighed 458 pounds, and that was taken in January. The day I went in for surgery I weighed 376 pounds.

This morning after a lazy long vacation for the "Easter break" at my in-laws, I weighed 276.5 pounds.

If I am doing my math correctly, that means that I've lost nearly 100 pounds since my surgery and nearly 180 pounds overall.

Further estimates would say that I've lost 40% of my weight overall and about 26% since my surgery.

Depending on the weight charts you use I think I've lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 66% of my excess weight. I haven't talked to my doctor about it yet because my one-year followup is scheduled for next week (yipes!) and supposedly you're aiming to lose 75% of your excess bodyweight post-bariatric surgery. If I'm right and I've only lost about 60-some percent, then I'm either still off or there's more weight to lose down the road.

I don't know if I should expect to be chastised next week or congratulated. To be honest I'm nervous about hearing the doctor's assessment. I can picture him telling me that he's disappointed in my lack of progress or that I'm not doing something right.

It has certainly been quite the interesting trip. It's getting rather late here because to celebrate my anniversary my wife took me to my favorite restaurant since my surgery: Panera Bread. My wife, son and I had a lovely evening out shopping at Barnes and Noble, Target, Walmart, and Panera; my daughter decided she'd rather spend her time doing something else, but my four year old son told me to have a happy anniversary, so it wasn't so bad. Right now he's in love with a new Bakugan that Daddy helped pay for him as a treat.

Maybe tomorrow or in the near future I'll sit down and go over some thoughts about how things have changed and what has happened since and because of the surgery. So many things have changed, many other things have stayed the same. It's weird to look back on the journal and the blog to see how things have altered through the months following the surgery.

I was determined to put something up on the anniversary of my alterations. I got up the numbers. And later on I'll try posting something about the feelings from the surgery and further thoughts on the enormity of the changes that have occurred. No pun intended.

One year ago I was waking up soaking in my own blood. Today I'm reminded of that every time my skin wobbles and flaps, or I look down at the horrible rigid scar tissue. My branding for life to act as a reminder why I cannot and should not ever eat cake again, or what too much McDonald's can do to you, or what our fast food nation and culture of pre-packaged convenience foods have encouraged the population to indulge in.

Today I'm waking up in an alien body that doesn't quite fit anymore, and feeling more than a little weird when I can walk more than three hundred paces and not feel like I can't get enough air into my lungs. Our "local" Panera Bread is at one end of a strip mall anchored on the other side by a Target. My wife drove the car from Panera to Target while my son and I walked; we were about halfway there when my son spotted Mommy driving by in the car.

"Oh no!" he shouted. "Mommy is going to beat us!"

He took off in a fast trot down the sidewalk. I started jogging alongside him. Soon we were running, a still overweight thirty-something and his four year old son running down the sidewalk to get to the store entrance before Mommy did. We got there with time to spare; Mommy had just parked the car and was opening the door when we stopped at the front entrance. My son was beaming a huge smile, declaring to Mommy as she walked up that we had beaten her to the door. I was silently smiling because I could still breathe without gasping like a fish.

That was my night, one year after my surgery.

Kirstie Alley and the Big Life

I stumbled upon yet another reality show the other night. It was called, "Kirstie Alley's Big Life."

All I could say was, "Wow..."

I remember Kirstie Alley from Star Trek II and Cheers. Other than that...not much. I've seen her on the cover of the occasional tabloid with headlines discussing how she gained weight and lost weight and gained more, as well as a headline declaring that she had been dropped from Jenny Craig as a spokesperson (they wouldn't come out and say it's because she regained weight).

I remember hearing the news in passing and scanning headlines on tabloids, but I didn't pay attention to it. Most of that gossip just sort of floats around out there like turds on sewage wastewater, waiting to be processed by a bored public that tries to feel more connected to those they admire by reading about the flaws in those making a metric crap-ton more than we do. So I wasn't prepared to see just how Kirstie Alley has changed since her days on Cheers.

Just...wow.

And the series didn't leave a good impression.

I must have seen an early series episode; she decided to test her new weight-loss program on her "handyman" and enlisted him to work with her. It kind of reminded me of the handyman on "Murphy Brown." He always seemed to be paid to just hang around more than actually do anything, and I guess it's a double-paying job when you're hanging around in front of reality show cameras.

My first thought; how can you shill your own weight-loss program when you're really not looking like you could be a successful poster child for your program? She's overweight. She puts it out there (c'mon...it's called "Big Life," and I believe she had a show called "Fat Actress" before that).

Second, the show had her deciding to get more exercise. Exercise will help her lose weight. They had an entire episode dedicated to interviewing personal trainers to come in and help her and her handyman lose weight.

Ugh. I so hate that.

I've railed against it before. Exercise is good for you, but it will not be your magic key to losing weight. Yes, you may lose a few pounds. But I'm willing to bet that much of that is because exercise fills time you otherwise would use eating.

When I'm on the treadmill, it takes an hour to burn 500 calories at an easy pace. An hour. A plain cheeseburger from McDonald's takes five minutes to eat (or less) and is 300 calories. Yeah, five minutes to take in 300 calories takes at least half an hour to forty minutes to burn off.

So if your lifestyle has you eating two thousand calories a day more than your body needs, can you fill in four or five hours a day with exercise to get your caloric intake to a manageable level?

I'll say this again; exercise will let you eat what you want as an obese person to achieve a skinny body if you become a professional trainer. You'll spend eight hours a day sweating calories from your pores. You'll have a huge calorie deficit. Most of us have jobs that don't involve wearing sweats for the majority of the day, however.

Second thing I'll say again; the "easiest" way to lose weight is to change your food lifestyle. That cheeseburger from McDonald's isn't really all that bad compared to most fast food fare; the average McMeal of a Big Mac, large fries and large Coke comes to 1,350 calories. That's over half the calories the average person should be eating in the course of the entire day compressed into one meal. And I don't think it's all that unusual for someone to have a meal like this.

Exercise isn't bad and I'm not advocating not exercising. Exercise makes you stronger and healthier in a number of ways. I'm simply saying that exercise isn't a magic bullet for losing weight, and unless you do a LOT of it, it won't make a huge difference in your weight loss routine. Want a big difference? Don't eat so much. Not eating that 540 calorie Big Mac will save you over an hour on the treadmill.

Forget how this relates to Kirstie Alley? Her show, or the episode I watched, seemed entirely endorsing the idea that if you have a personal trainer (because every fat person can afford one of those, along with your own personal home gym) you would lose weight. She mentioned the idea that she needs to change her lifestyle, but in the same session of marathon Big Life episodes she called her handyman one night to ask if he'd like to come over to eat something.

Um...

Now she has released her Certified Organic Weight Loss Program  (no I don't care enough to put in the actual name because it's yet another program dedicated to miraculous weight loss if you follow the magic "system"). Does it work? I don't know, but it seems clear that her show is less about the life of an actress who is no longer in the headlines for her roles and instead is on the tabloids because of her size and is instead a show cashing in on the public's fascination with reality shows to help promote her program. Good marketing, I suppose. But I think it's bad that it's promoting yet another "system" to an American public that desperately wants to believe all ills have a simple, singular magic bullet cure.

It's reported that she's lost 20 pounds since January (and now it's March) on her own diet program. That's great for her. The key is finding out if her system continues to have positive effects after five and ten years...

Gabby Sidibe and Weight in Hollywood

I don't really have any desire to see the critically acclaimed movie "Precious." IMDB has a plot summary that reads, in part, "In 1987, obese, illiterate, black 16-year-old Claireece "Precious" Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) lives in the New York City neighborhood of Harlem with her dysfunctional family; she has been raped and impregnated twice by her father..."

Not really my idea of a movie that grips my attention, but that's okay.

In a move that isn't all that surprising, Howard Stern made the news (again) by criticising Sidibe's weight on his Sirius radio show. He said, in part, "There's the most enormous, fat black chick I've ever seen. She is enormous. Everyone's pretending she's a part of show business and she's never going to be in another movie," Stern ranted. "She should have gotten the Best Actress award because she's never going to have another shot. What movie is she gonna be in?"

Her weight is definitely on the high side. She claimed to Oprah that her first diet was at the age of six. She decided to love herself and her body, making her sound like one of the members of the fat acceptance movement.

But is Howard Stern wrong?

He refuses to apologize for the remarks. From an article posted at Contactmusic.com: "Stern's comments stirred up a swathe of controversy in the U.S., but he's standing by his opinion - insisting Sidibe should not be held up as a role model for overweight people, because obesity is a life-threatening condition."

He also apparently said that she will have trouble with landing roles in Hollywood due to her weight.

From the article: "I feel this girl is going to kill herself - you can't eat like this. I did enjoy her performance (in Precious) I have nothing against her, I'm just trying to say she's enormous...The girl has got tremendous problems and she needs help. And we got slammed (for saying it)."

I won't argue whether Stern is an opinionated ass or talking head like so many others who capitalize on their fame by stirring controversy. The question is, how right is he?

There are those who are saying he's full of it because Gabby is already wrapping a second movie and is starting in a TV pilot. She also has had support from some heavy hitters...no pun intended...in Hollywood such as Oprah Winfrey. Ha ha! Take that, Stern!

At the same time I'm wondering how many grossly obese actors and actresses (especially actresses) are in movies and television. I could probably count them on one hand, and these were very talented people who excelled in their craft...usually as comedians, or people who slid into acting from a comedy career. Even those that are famous and overweight are often not known for their acting career; Oprah, a one-woman business mogul, has a well known struggle with food. But she's not known for being an actress (nor is she truly grossly obese). She's a savvy businesswoman with her fingers in many media revenue streams. Sidibe is a newcomer in Hollywood with one hit movie on her resume.

And there is the fact that she is fat. She can pretend that it won't have an impact on her career, but observation tells us that it simply isn't true. Even little slips of the tongue tell us that it is something on the minds of people around her. The director of Precious apparently said on the carpet: "No one in Hollywood told me they wanted to see a movie about a 350 pound black girl who had HIV," Daniels said at the podium. Immediately realizing his gaffe, Daniels noted, "She's not 350 pounds, Gabby...but the book says...before you were hired."

The fact is that her weight right now is stirring controversy, increasing her publicity stops with more interviews in part because it's unusual to have a 350 pound actress that has managed to get nominated for so many awards.  The director was quoted that after seeing her audition tape that she seemed to be in a state of denial of her weight.

Another fact; the movie was about an overweight, sexually and physically abused poor black girl impregnated by her father. What big names in Hollywood would pull off this role without a fat suit? This girl had some acting skills and fit the physical specifications the role required. But that doesn't mean that she's going to have a career in Hollywood. And if you see the train wreck that has come from other flash-in-the-pans, chances are she'll enjoy a window of fame then slowly peter away into nothing.

This girl is having a lot of publicity specifically because she is in a unique position. A 350 pound actress made a name for herself in a movie that garnered a lot of awards. If this were commonplace we wouldn't be hearing about it, and soon it'll disappear as someone else takes over the public's short attention span, and that's when you find out how much staying power and talent the girl really has. The true talents are the ones that you see in movie after movie and you can't even recall when you last paid attention to her, yet you still find her name coming up for Hollywood roles.

I'm afraid that Howard Stern was being realistic here. Harsh, uncouth, but realistic. Hollywood is fascinated by freak breakouts and the media loves to swirl around fresh meat so long as the public buys the gossip rags. It doesn't take a genius to see that the women on the covers of magazines aren't 350 pounds; weight is usually a topic for deriding the Jessica Simpson's and Oprah Winfrey's to emphasize the latest "Oh My God She's Gaining Weight From Breakup/Illness/Stress/Bizarre Career Event" headline, or "See Who's Losing Weight And How They Did It" article.

The real story will come if Sidibe is on the covers of magazines in another year highlighting her latest movie or television project and not gossip on her personal life or yet another weight-acceptance article. Until then, I think Stern has a point. My inclination is to believe that Sidibe is a flash in the gossip pan that will disappear in a short amount of time, for better or worse.

Book: Cutting Myself in Half by Taylor Lebaron

I was curious after seeing  some blurb somewhere about a kid who lost "half his weight" from a technology-inspired diet plan. The book was called Cutting Myself in Half by Tayler LeBaron. My wife picked it up for me off my Amazon wishlist as a gift.

The gist of it: Taylor was overweight, around 300 pounds, and decided to lose weight using the good old fashioned method of eating less and exercising more. He developed his own system modeling calories into "money", like in a video game. He had enemies to avoid, like sugars and frivolous snacking, and allotted himself a certain amount of money to spend each day (calories) that once spent was over for the day. He based his daily money to spend on his calculated BMR (basal metabolic rate) and could adjust his intake by exercising at the YMCA.

Like certain other higher profile "systems" he took the tried and true...calories in, calories out...method of losing weight and adjusted his lifestyle by changing his perspective so it would be more like playing a video game. And it apparently worked for him. You can see for yourself at the website he set up.

Okay...now, I'm not going to begrudge him success in losing weight. The book outlines some of the things he went through that stress-wise contributed to his teenage bloating, and it's not something I'd wish on a kid. Parents divorced, his mother was in three car accidents, and there was a housefire. Yikes! And he found a way to channel his weight issues and his stresses into a new lifestyle, which is great.

But the book...not something for older people. If I didn't know anything at all about the author, I would have pegged it as being written at the level of a newspaper audience. The sentences were simplistic and repetitive. It was a bit bland in spots, and slow going. I really thought it was something written by a younger teenager and then run through the literary equivalent of an auto-tuner.

Some of the advice in the book was something I kind of cringed at. I didn't run this through a dietitician, and Taylor made it clear that he had arrived at his own advice through online experts (I get wary with anything that lists anonymous experts...maybe it was too many years reading Weekly Readers in elementary school where it was "expert this" and "expert that"...if you don't put specific names and citations, anonymity seems to be there for a reason, and I question it doubly so when the information relates to health claims) and not from direct doctors.

For example, he repeatedly credits his addiction to Coke Zero for saving him calories. He loves water, Coke Zero, or a combination of the two, while talking about his goal of overall fitness.

I loved soda. I only gave it up because my doctor basically forced me to. But while I drank gallons of it a week I was also very aware that soda, diet or regular, was NOT healthy. Quick rule of thumb; take something you like, read the ingredient list, and if there's something in it that you can't pronounce, chances are you should cut back on it. Soda has a number of things in it that are there purely as chemical enhancements, and many many studies have had links that arouse suspicion that diet drinks cause reactions in the stomach that prevent you from feeling sated, meaning you end up eating more or feeling hungrier in the long run. Sure, it saves calories, especially compared to regular soft drinks. The downside is that the chemicals in it could be doing some weird stuff to your innards.

Personally I would have preferred it if he brought up the differences between regular and diet drinks, with the caveat that it's better to drink them in moderation if you don't cut them out completely. I was also slightly irritated at the constant Coke Zero this, Coke Zero that. Another tip...if they're not giving you cash, cut out the constant free advertising. Just say diet drink or diet soft drink, or mention the drink you love very much once or twice. Stop hammering me in the head with an advertisement.

Second, he brings up protein bars. He works out, he's made it his goal to work on his strength. That's great! He does bring up information that has popped up in my own research regarding how muscles rebuild during "down time" by repairing microtears, and to do that he needs protein. He talks about salmon and chicken and other meats, but then mentions protein bars.

I don't know if he's read what I've read, but protein bars aren't really necessarily great for you. Many are misleading in the name "protein bar", containing a log of sugar that is uneeded, or more chemical substitutes to enhance or introduce certain flavors. If protein bars are a must on your list you really really should read the labels and do some investigative work, or see what you can conjure up in your own kitchen.

Again, all of his techniques worked for him, and that's great. He found a perspective that helped him make a big life change, much like The Hacker's Diet really influenced my own perspective. The book itself just wasn't quite my cup of tea. It became evident that he was aiming his book at the younger teen crowd, and the writing style had me kind of slogging through the potatoes to find the meat at times, so to speak.

The book was a cross between educational, "Here's how I did it" writing for teens and a blog. I think it was the plugs for Coke and the Zune that started making me wonder if this was a long blog entry turned into a book, while the simplistic tone and style cemented my opinion that this was for younger teens by a younger teen.

It also gave a number of skim-overs on topics without delving into anything in particular (the deepest background I can recall was discussing muscle tears healing in order to become stronger). Good sign of a book that is either trying to sell you on a system or is for kids; a tone of "just do this and it works, nevermind why or how it works."

So if you have an overweight video gamer on your hands that can't quite bridge the gap between reality and video games, this book might be good for them if they want to lose weight, as it basically outlines at the highest level how to turn losing weight into a long video game. Otherwise it probably isn't going to be of much use outside of being a feelgood story of a kid who took the initiative to lose extra pounds. For a better perspective on looking at weight loss from a technology-minded person, i.e., delving into the mechanics of losing weight without a gimmick, use Google (or the link embedded in the blog posting) to check out The Hacker's Diet, which gives the same basic message (cut back calories and exercise more...for the right reasons...) without the product plugs or the teenager-specific simplistic sentence structure.